A letter to myself — 6 things I want to tell my younger self

 Dear younger me,

Yes. We are having this conversation, and if I could travel in time these are the six things, I would make sure you got to know.

One more thing! It’s not too late I know so you had better listen and listen carefully. 

I am my mothers daughter. Here I am at just 5 months old.

No 1: We shall talk about self-confidence.

You are an active girl and you have kept journals over the years planning out your life. Everything you thought would happen will not happen. But do not lose yourself. Your confidence in your abilities and in yourself will be the most important tool that you will have to hold onto through the various seasons of your life.

You are going to try out various business ideas, no you will ooze with ideas constantly but remember to get out of your comfort zone, pick a few that are manageable and stick to them. You will do great. This journey will teach you a lot and you will make amazing friends and they will keep teaching you everything you need. Just remember to be self-learning and should continue and make as many connections as possible.

You must learn not to worry about what people think about you early enough. Just remember you are not perfect, and you will fail at many things, some of which will change your life completely. Instead, you will pick yourself up, hold your head high, forgive yourself and move on and what other people think won’t stop you. 

No 2: We shall talk about showing up 

You have never been the all make up kind of girl but learn to drink enough water to keep your skin glowing and experiment a little including lipstick in all the beautiful colours you can find. The engineer in you loves the jeans but the dresses will complement the marketer in you, so find your personal style. The way you dress will speak so much about yourself, so please pay attention.

There will be days where you will lose or gain weight- remember to find something new that fits and will represent the woman you are becoming. 

Remember to keep a complete feel good outfit for the days where you won’t feel like it. On these days it will still be important to be present, alert and show up looking awesome. For the shoes, do not bother with stilettos, they will not work for you, wedges will make so much sense and still give you the look you are looking for. You walk too much anyway.

No 3: We shall talk about being a mother

Sincerely, You do not need to worry. Your mother was an awesome example of who a mother should be, she will be there for you for the first couple of years so soak in her wisdom, you will need to remember them and pass them on. Your friends will also be there for you and you will share so much on how to raise children. 

Amazing women like Flavia Serugo and Manuela Pacutho will forever have an impact in this area of your life, don’t forget to say thank you to them.

Love your children unconditionally

Be keen and learn their love language 

Be a happy mother every day, especially in the mornings

Pray for them and with them

Switch of that car radio and listen, listen, listen to them

You will have so much to say to them as they grow up, so open up email addresses they can use in future and write them emails as they grow up, they will appreciate your love and words of wisdom when they are older and can read.

Motherhood will be tough, but you are tougher and whatever situation you find yourself in, just do your best, you will still shine. However, the children are still young so we shall revisit this chapter of your life later but in the meantime, look around you, your village will be the best resource you have.

No 4: We shall talk about time! time! time!

Every person on earth has the same amount of time, but how you use this time will be very important, so you will have to make a choice to review your investments from time to time. 

Make the choice not to waste any more time and forget everything else that you have not accomplished and become the architect of your time. 

Time will take away some friends albeit with a little heaviness, but know one thing, you will be amazed at how you will make new friendships, friends who know how to give more than they receive and friends that will have your back. 

Find friends that will fill you with oomph 

Travel, go see the world, it will bring you so much joy

Change your career, you will have so many questions but don’t be afraid, you will find your passion and love what you do 

Go back to school and excel

Learn a new skill, you love working with your hands anyway 

You may delay, but time will not, and a lot of time is never found again. — Benjamin Franklin

No 5:  We shall talk about family and friends 

Do you remember the Christmas day when you were 15 and you spent it without your siblings at your grandmas? You can’t possibly forget it! Abba’s Mamma Mia was on replay that morning.  

It was a turning point to who you chose to become to your siblings and after that you went home there were less fights…and you got to a good point. You made the right choice girl. 

Do not ever forget this day now that you are a little older…You will need each other so much more…

Being a first born will come with a lot of responsibility. It is not going to be easy having to be an example, and holding down your own, but you are a strong girl you can do this. There will be joys beyond anything you ever thought or imagined and there will be sad times but don’t worry as a team you will manage.

Your siblings will have “crazy” dreams, but it will be your job to help nurture them and let them dream and make sure they know they have a sister who will love them unconditionally.

Part of their dreams will be to travel and please do ask, because I'm not about to tell you which one of them will have the itchiest feet, but when that time comes to be supportive, everything will turn out just fine. 

For the friends do not hesitate to enjoy each one of them. Your friends are from such different cultures and they will be a big part of your life and personality, so choose them wisely.

There will be people you will hope to keep as friends, but they will not want to stay, it will hurt so much but it will be for a reason, please don’t ask them to stay and do not focus on the loss. 

There will be people who will love everything you are, and nothing will stop them, they will be everything you have ever wanted, these women and men will support you and cheer you on to becoming a woman you never thought you would. So hang in there. 

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. – Sam Keen

No 6: We shall talk about reading 

You have enjoyed reading since you were a little girl, so please do not be sucked up in the world of social media. Learn to look into a book and not into your phone. It is okay to look into your reader though. Let me tell you now- it will be easier said than done but get a grip on yourself early and this is where I will send you back to day four when we talked about time and the reviewing your investments. If you must use your phone, it will be to connect with people, just remember that the number of likes and follows will not define who you are.

There will be pockets of time everywhere, and instead of looking down on your phone, make use of the time in the waiting rooms, in the boardroom, in traffic and all other pockets you will identify, you will learn so much. 

When you read, you soak in the experiences of others, it's going to be worthwhile for you, you have big dreams for yourself and to get to where you want to go, this will be one sure way. Authors do all the hard work and have consolidated years of experience, so instead of experiencing it all, reading will get you there.

It is one thing to read for knowledge and another to read for academic purposes. However, it will be okay to leave your comfort zone and study something different madam engineer. It will be a beautiful thing. It will take you places and open up a career journey at the right time. The company you shall work for #MTN will give you a beautiful opportunity to study and work and wait for this, they will be willing to foot some of these school fees issues for you, so take that opportunity and run with it.

Now going forward we must have these conversations on a daily basis, and now that you are a mentor we must share constantly with the other awesome women and most especially those at #projectgirlsforgirls.

First Published in November 2019